This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
