She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
