like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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