ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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