come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
