Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
