i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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