woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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