it was like his penis was on wheels.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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