I wanna bring you to show and tell
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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