Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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