Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I love having hate sex.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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