I'm eating all of the evidence.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Randomize