I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
