so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
