It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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