Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Randomize
