Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Randomize
