Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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