Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
she peed on how many people?
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
