bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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