I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
