She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
