i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
