bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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