please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
