I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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