So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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