I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize