I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
