He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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