dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
