capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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