non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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