yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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