oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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