I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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