he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
