so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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