I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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