He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
