Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
