HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
