is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
