if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
