haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
