whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i just had sex bonerless
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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