What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
