Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
