We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
