Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
