Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Randomize
