Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
