Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
