what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Ketchup is God's man juice
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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