is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Randomize