why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
