32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
