jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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