mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
