Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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