If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I wish i was in the wii world.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Im part way to drunk.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
