I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
