I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
