We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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