So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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