why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
